kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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