we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he laminated a picture of his dick.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
