why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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