Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
