I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
