I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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