I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
