The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
