five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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