Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
