I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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