shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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