This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
