i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
