he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
