Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
