don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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