So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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