her vagine was all disorganized.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
