We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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