i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
