He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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