found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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