Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
