I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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