btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
