This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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