The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Randomize
