he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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