Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Randomize
