im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
we made out on top of his cat.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
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