my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
