Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Randomize
