it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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