they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
