Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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