Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
