just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
