We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
tell me about the eggs
His nipple licking is glorious
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
