I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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