he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
