HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
