Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
