Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
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