He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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