ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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