I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
