Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
NoShamevember. You game?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
