is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
