I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
