Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
