I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
